


Three things I would never tell her

by Koral



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 18:13:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9083785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koral/pseuds/Koral
Summary: Number one, the way she calmed Atom down while he was suffering. I remember freezing up on the spot seeing Atom’s shuddering breaths, hearing his faints “Help me”. God, I could still hear him, it haunts me, eats me alive. I was supposed to be the leader of the delinquents, protect them, and in that moment, I returned to being just a mere child. Clarke’s humming resonated in the stillness of the forest, Atom’s eyes flickered over to her as he took calming breaths, I could see the shift in his eyes when he accepted the fact he was going to die. The quiet resignation, and his unflinching body as the knife quickly stabbed his neck. The blood rolling down his neck, and mixing with the dirt below.
…Her humming didn’t only calmed Atom down.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays! This is a little Bellarke fic I wrote as part of @thewritingcrew secret santa exchange. To @hotlatinospacerebel, Kass I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it (even if I don’t know anything about The 100 and have 20 tabs open with information and a youtube video). 
> 
> PS: It seems I also started shipping these two…

There are three things I would never tell her.

Number one, the way she calmed Atom down while he was suffering. I remember freezing up on the spot seeing Atom’s shuddering breaths, hearing his faints “Help me”. God, I could still hear him, it haunts me, eats me alive. I was supposed to be the leader of the delinquents, protect them, and in that moment, I returned to being just a mere child. Clarke’s humming resonated in the stillness of the forest, Atom’s eyes flickered over to her as he took calming breaths, I could see the shift in his eyes when he accepted the fact he was going to die. The quiet resignation, and his unflinching body as the knife quickly stabbed his neck. The blood rolling down his neck, and mixing with the dirt below.

…Her humming didn’t only calmed Atom down.

Number two, her nature. Strong, dependable, determined. Her desire to save every one of us, even as Murphy tried to kill her. I could see it crystal clear the moment she wanted to help the grounder who had Octavia. Torture is something I wish I didn’t have to do again, but as the fight continues to survive so does the methods used to protect my people. Seeing her in pain with each hit or cut as she stood helpless to it, but wanting to help Finn. I wished not to put her through this, didn’t want her to be subjected to the cruelty of our new life. I don’t think I quite forgive myself for not pushing hard enough for her to leave the room.

Number three, her unyielding loyalty. I can still hear the words she spoke to me the day I killed Dax. “I need you, we all need you.” It’s kind of funny how those simple words managed to shut my guilt over the chancellor up. I have been an asshole to her, to almost everyone in my race to protect and escape. Her loyalty was almost unexpected, but she has made it her personal mission to save every one. Now I can see I’m also in that list. Having her argue with me on every action taken seemed like such an annoyance, why couldn’t she just stay put and not meddle in our affairs? I asked myself that question millions of times, I know now that without her here with me I would’ve been lost a long time ago it’s kind of funny, really.

Now having her in my arms as she sleeps soundly, a contented smile on her face I couldn’t help but feel calm. For a few hours, everything was right in the world, and we weren’t fighting for our lives in a forest somewhere on earth. I looked down to her partially hidden face, for a few hours the demons plaguing my mind where quiet, my guilts and regrets making peace. I knew that she would be willing to help me but I couldn’t place that burden on Clarke. She shuddered closer to me as the temperatures dropped, I reached over to the discarded sheet draping it over her. My urge to protect her, to protect my princess rushing through my mind. I wouldn’t let anything get to her, anything hurt her, so why would I put this burden on her? Why should he shoulder my guilts and regrets? Really, I couldn’t tell her.


End file.
